[Theme to PPG]
Tenchi Masaki (narrator): Sugar...spice...and everything nice.... These are the ingredients chosen to create the perfect bishoujo. But Professor Son Goku-chan added an extra ingredient to the concoction... (Interrupted) What is it?
Goku: Why am I the professor? He doesn't have any super powers, fighting skills, or muscles.
Shuten (as director): Let's just say you DBZ fools need to broaden your skills. Now silence, or I'll destroy you all!
M. Kusanagi (from Blue Seed): Save it for the episode.
M. Chiba (Darien): Yeah, this is gonna be fun.
Ryo: Am I in this ep?
[Shuten responds by using a Kouraisen ("Quake with fear!"), which gags Ryo.]
Tenchi (ahem!): ...Chemical Exo-power. [explosion] Thus, the Genkibishoujo are born! Using their Miracle Zenkai Powers, Momiji, Usagi, and Kayura have dedicated their adolescence to fighting crime-and the forces of evil!
[PPG main theme and graphics, anime style!]
First episode:
Tenchi: Tokai no Tokai-is under attack by Mo-Vegeta!
[Vegeta attacks this anime version of Townsville with a laser gun.]
Vegeta (out of character): What the hell! This is typecasting of the lowest order! Not only that, but...I'm a Super Saiyan! The mightiest of them all... (Continues this old DBZ tirade needlessly).
Momiji: Mojo doesn't have super powers, except for his super intelligence. Besides, Rowen's already a villain in this show, and Ami's a girl.
Vegeta: Very well. (As Mo-Vegeta, diabolical laughter)
Tenchi: Look! The Genkibishoujo!
[Momiji (Blue Seed), Usagi (Serena, Sailor Moon) and (Lady) Kayura fly in a classic PPG attack pattern. They fight with Mo-Vegeta briefly and defeat him.]
Mo-Vegeta (in prison): Curses.
Tenchi: Tokai's under attack!
[Same as previous, except Mo-Vegeta uses an orbiting sattelite for his attack.]
Tenchi: Under attack!
[This time, Mo-Vegeta stole Tallgeese-2. Again, defeated by the heroes.]
Momiji: When will you learn?
Kayura: You'll never be able to defeat us.
Momiji: We never lose!
Usagi: [Japanese raspberry: stick out tongue and pull down lower lid of an eye.]
[Mo-Vegeta is grim as he's taken to prison again.]
Mo-Vegeta: Curses! [Classic explosion of pure wordless Saiyan rage. Calms down.] Time and time again those accursed girls have defeated me. I have to devise a scheme so sinister, so diabolical, it will bring those teenage titans to their knees. [Lecherous smirk] Where they belong. I must fight fire with- (Interrupted)
Ryo (summoning Armor): All right!
Shuten: You're not in this, boy!
Ryo: Sorry. (Stalks off set)
Shuten: Continue.
Mo-Vegeta: I must fight fire with fire. I've got to beat them at their own game. I've...I've got a phone call to make. [Pointless snickering]
Rowen (as off-screen inmate) Hey, shut up in there!
[Mo-Vegeta quiets down.]
Tenchi: Next day, at Son Goku-chan's...
[Phone rings.]
Usagi: I'll get it! (answers phone) Son Goku-chan's residence. Whom may I ask is calling?
Mo-Vegeta: Oh, no one. I'm just a curious stranger.
Usagi: Professor, there's a stranger on the phone!
Goku (as Professor): Hi! How can I help you?
Mo-Vegeta: Hello, I'm a student reporter from Tokai Senior Academy; I'm doing a report on the Genkibishoujo, and I'd like to know...what exactly are those pretty teens made of?
Professor Goku: Oh! Well, you add one cup of sugar, a dash of spice, and mix it into a vat of everything nice. Wait-this is very important-accidentally add a beaker filled with Chemical Exo-power.
Mo-Vegeta: Is that it? (Remembers act) Er, I mean thank you, sir.
Professor Goku: I've also got a great recipe for mocchi.
Mocchi: You can't eat me, chi!
Genki: Not you, the sweet rice cake.
[Mo-Vegeta hangs up.]
Mo-Vegeta: So that's it.... But sugar, spice, everything nice! How yaoi can you get, Kakkarot? I'll have to use something tougher, more manly.
[Mo-Vegeta proceeds to get the ingredients. He snatches two Ekans from an inmate.]
Sekhmet (as inmate): Hey, give me back those snake Pokemon!
[Next, Mo-Vegeta's at the lunch line.]
Mo-Vegeta: I'll have Faun Rei Shu's escargots, please.
Kento (as "gourmet" lunch dude): Excellent choice.
[Now, he cuts off a Vulpix's tail.]
Vulpix: VUUULLLLLPPPPPPIIIIIIIIIIIIXXXXXX!
[Back in the cell]
Cell: Everyone must fight me!
Vegeta and Goku: Not you! You're not even in the series!
Cell: How dull.
Mo-Vegeta: Snakes, snails, puppy-dog Ninetales...now I have to find Chemical Exo-power. Hmm...there has to be something here with that level of potency. (Spies toilet, breathes in scent) Ah, this is definitely (hacks) Exo-powerful. [Garlic Junior's tribal beat] Yes...the nether spirits are in place; the moon is full and in proper alignment with the Makyo Star. Now, let these seeds of evil bear fruit! (Tosses two Ekans, snails, and Vulpix's tail into the toilet.)
[After a moment, a massive geyser of water and energy blast from the toilet, flooding the cell. After the water recedes, three drenched bishounen emerge.]
Mo-Vegeta (runs to youths): My babies!
[This disgusts the trio to no end.]
M. Kusanagi (as Kusanagi): Hey! We aren't babies! We're...
Trio: The Onimashounen!
[The Onis introduce themselves.]
Shuten (as Douji): Our purpose here is to kick butt. And since yours is the only one around, I guess we'll start with you. (As director) Damn, that was a great entrance!
Mo-Vegeta (as self): Quit gloating and let's get back to the script. (In character) You don't want me. My butt is as vicious as yours.
Onimashounen (as selves, looking back at their butts): But not half as sexy.
Assorted otaku girls: Oh, yeah!
Kayura (off-screen): Right. Finish this stupid scene so I can beat the crap out of you in Act 2.
Mo-Vegeta: The butts you want beaten are seated upon the throne of justice.
Onis: Yeah!
Kento (off-screen): I wish.
Mo-Vegeta: The butts you want are firmly planted in the soil of nobility.
Onis: Yeah!
Mo-Vegeta: These butts stand tall between the pillars of peace and love. The butts you want to kick are the butts of the Genkibishoujo!
Onis: Yeah!
Kusanagi (as self): Although I could think of better things to do with their butts.... (Smiles like a demented hentai fan)
Chiba (as Darien): Me, too.
Douji (as director): So can I, but let's stick with the plot. (Back as character) Let's kill them now!
Mo-Vegeta: I would gladly take you to them; if only we could think of a way out of (taken by Onimashounen) here...!
Tenchi: Uh-oh! Those guys are bad news. (Normal) I know; I'm not nearly as good as the real narrator.
Treize (producer): Don't worry; now the fans of American cartoons will know exactly how our viewers feel.
Duo: What if they actually like this?
Dorothy: Then they have better taste after all.
I've just begun this parody. Email me with any comments or suggestions.
Otherwise, just head back to the main page.
Notes:
Tenchi = Narrator
Anubis(Shuten) = director, Brick
Vegeta = Mojo Jojo
Goku = Professor Utonium
Momiji = Blossom
Usagi(Serena) = Bubbles
Lady Kayura = Buttercup
Mamoru Kusanagi = normally Fuzzy Lumpkins--in later eps; today Boomer
Mamoru(Darien) Chiba = Butch
Ryo ("of the Wildfire") Senada = Ace, if he were in this ep
Sekhmet(Naaza) = Snake, normally
Trowa = Arturo; non-Ronin
Dara = Big Billy, since both have that horrid voice
Dais = Grubber
Princess Ayeka = Sedusa
Ryoko(spike-haired space pirate) = Miss Sara Bellum
Mihoshi = Mary Anne Smith
Heero = Bud Smith
Rini = Katie
Treize = Harold Smith
Levih Rah(D.C. Shinjuku) = HIM
Talpa = Boogie Man
Master Roshi = the Mayor
Mariemaia = Princess Morbucks
I hope that the above guide will help you throughout the series.